blah blah blah...

I'm still counting my blessings I promise;  I know I have lots of them, but seriously, the last few weeks I feel absolutely blah.  What is this funk about; it hit its peak today, I think.  My night last night - kids in bed 7:30-ish.  Did a handful of pick up chores, then...nearly every half hour until 3:44am someone was up.  Now if it was just once in a while,  I wouldn't be so frazzled.  The past several weeks have been like this often, like almost everynight, with sick kids, nightmares,  potty breaks,  clingy, crankiness,  etc.  Officer works nights, if you didn't already know, and so I HAVE to get up, so that he can sleep in the mornings because kids don't just sleep in on nights like that. Why is that?  Gratefully he has helped out more the last few nights that have been like this, but he's exhausted as well.  The last several mornings I have been up by about 5:30am.  I love my children, they are darling, but lack of sleep is really GETTING TO ME!  I have run out of steam...I'm feeling depressed, couped up,  blah.  Exercise would help - but I currently have zilch for energy with no sleep and it's freezing outside, so running is not so fun right now.  I've been trying to do more service,  but in some ways it has backfired because my own home remains a mess and my regular to do list unfinished. Tried to pick up a book - but there is someone constantly wanting my attention.  I feel like I barely get dressed and barely do more than the absolute minimum.  I keep trying to tell myself it will get better...and I know it will.  As I sit here my 8 month old refuses to go to sleep - I even resorted to crying it out for a few minutes (her, not me, yet.)  Usually I can nurse and her she'll be right back to sleep, but she has been biting me for a month now since she got 2 teeth (I've tried a lot of things and nothing is sticking)and frankly I've just about had it.  I need a break to find me again or at least some regular sleep - before I break!  DEEP,  deep breath...okay I'm done, thank you for letting me vent.  I'm okay, but come New Years,  I'm ready for some resolutions.