This is my curious george; or my family circus cartoon where the little boy is followed all over by a dotted line. I love this little face, he is one of the three most precious things I have in my care. You just truly don't understand until some things until you become a parent; a mother. I have a lot left to learn for sure, but last night I lost this little boy. It was the most panicked 4 minutes I have ever experienced in my life. Next to the other panicked 2 minutes I had with him a couple weeks ago when I saw him face down in a swimming pool. This boy is afraid of nothing and that scares me. I hope he has more than 9 lives, because he has used 3 in just the last few weeks.
Have you ever seen the play/movie "It's a Miracle"? There is a part in there where this LDS missionary going about his day while his guardian angel is constantly ahead of him protecting him from various things - its kind of comical. Anyway, I just think this little boy has more than the usual number of guardian angels watching out for him for my sake, and he keeps them busy. Two weeks ago while swimming I was sitting with Cupcake and Miss Peanut and Handsome in the kiddie pool. I had just seen handsome, but I shot out of my seat looking for him and found him face down in the deep end. Officer was just feet from him with his back to him, I saw Handsome throw his body back enough to get him out of the water for a breath before he went back under. I made it a habit that he just has a life jacket on at all times, but he was still face down. In my panic I didn't hand cupcake off to anyone so I couldn't jump in and I felt like I couldn't yell loud enough, I felt totally helpless. I'm so glad Officer was close enough to get to him quickly, but it was still the longest two minutes ever...until last night.
I sometimes feel like my kids miss out on ward parties, etc because it's hard to go with little little kids by yourself and often Officer is working because of his shift. Now it wouldn't be as big a deal if I had two of me, but most of the time it's just me. Last night I decided to take the kids to our ward party at a local park. Officer took his lunch to come eat with us, but after he had to leave for a call, my hands were full. I was watching the kids on the playground and chatting with a gal in my ward and somehow I looked away just long enough to for him to slip from my view. Literally I looked down to give Cupcake a binky and when I looked back up to take inventory of the other two again he was gone. I watched for just a minute waiting for him to come down a slide or pop up somewhere but he didn't. I started circling the park and as I passed a few people I recruited their help, but the longer he was out of site the more panicked I got. Gratefully the party planners had a microphone/sound system set up and the announced it so that more people started looking. He found very quickly by some of our good friends but he was quite a distance from the playground in just a matter of maybe 5 minutes. I don't want to live like a hermit with my kids locked and leashed and I'm learning to give them some freedom because my other two hand are usually taking care of Cupcake. It really is difficult to let go though and I don't even have any little ones in school yet.
Being married to Officer I feel like I've had to have great faith that when he goes to work, he will come home. I have faith that he will not be taken from this earth before it is his time to go; that he will be protected. If I didn't, I would be paranoid and anxious all the time because of the things he sees and deals with daily. I'm trying to have that faith with my children. I learning that they won't always be in my care, and I can't control what happens when I'm not there, but I have faith that they will come home safely to me. And this little man is surely keeping his guarding angels busy.
Have you ever seen the play/movie "It's a Miracle"? There is a part in there where this LDS missionary going about his day while his guardian angel is constantly ahead of him protecting him from various things - its kind of comical. Anyway, I just think this little boy has more than the usual number of guardian angels watching out for him for my sake, and he keeps them busy. Two weeks ago while swimming I was sitting with Cupcake and Miss Peanut and Handsome in the kiddie pool. I had just seen handsome, but I shot out of my seat looking for him and found him face down in the deep end. Officer was just feet from him with his back to him, I saw Handsome throw his body back enough to get him out of the water for a breath before he went back under. I made it a habit that he just has a life jacket on at all times, but he was still face down. In my panic I didn't hand cupcake off to anyone so I couldn't jump in and I felt like I couldn't yell loud enough, I felt totally helpless. I'm so glad Officer was close enough to get to him quickly, but it was still the longest two minutes ever...until last night.
I sometimes feel like my kids miss out on ward parties, etc because it's hard to go with little little kids by yourself and often Officer is working because of his shift. Now it wouldn't be as big a deal if I had two of me, but most of the time it's just me. Last night I decided to take the kids to our ward party at a local park. Officer took his lunch to come eat with us, but after he had to leave for a call, my hands were full. I was watching the kids on the playground and chatting with a gal in my ward and somehow I looked away just long enough to for him to slip from my view. Literally I looked down to give Cupcake a binky and when I looked back up to take inventory of the other two again he was gone. I watched for just a minute waiting for him to come down a slide or pop up somewhere but he didn't. I started circling the park and as I passed a few people I recruited their help, but the longer he was out of site the more panicked I got. Gratefully the party planners had a microphone/sound system set up and the announced it so that more people started looking. He found very quickly by some of our good friends but he was quite a distance from the playground in just a matter of maybe 5 minutes. I don't want to live like a hermit with my kids locked and leashed and I'm learning to give them some freedom because my other two hand are usually taking care of Cupcake. It really is difficult to let go though and I don't even have any little ones in school yet.
Being married to Officer I feel like I've had to have great faith that when he goes to work, he will come home. I have faith that he will not be taken from this earth before it is his time to go; that he will be protected. If I didn't, I would be paranoid and anxious all the time because of the things he sees and deals with daily. I'm trying to have that faith with my children. I learning that they won't always be in my care, and I can't control what happens when I'm not there, but I have faith that they will come home safely to me. And this little man is surely keeping his guarding angels busy.
1 comment:
So scary!!! You are so right though, you can't keep them locked up. And we do have angels helping and watching us. You are one brave woman, and I love you!
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